End of Life

Confronting a terminal condition might be one of the most difficult things to thread through in the course of your life. Faced with the prospect of our own demise, many parts of our internal world will become activated, and the system can easily go on lockdown on account of internal pain and conflict. No one has taught us how to die. 

The irony of death in the US medical system, is that most physicians, psychotherapists and other healing providers -true to western doctrine- are not comfortable with death themselves. Just like in hospitals when a patient passes the body is hidden and taken to the morgue in surreptitious form away from the sight of visitors and providers, trying to dialogue with the idea of death in medical care becomes an obscene practice, something to be secretive about. 
 

Only a few years into my palliative care practice I discovered the value of saying to my patient things like: "yes, you might be running out of time, but let me explain to you -if you want to hear it- how we are going to keep you safe from suffering". It always surprised me that such powerful conversations were not taught in medical school. 

 

As a palliative care specialist I am an expert is symptom care, even in the most dire of bodily conditions. Furthermore, I have the expertise to guide you through a terminal disease process, help you clarify your goals of care, set up clear 'cutoffs' of when medical intervention would be excessive for you, and educate and support your family system as well.   
 

Incorporating IFS to the terminal disease experience can be of tremendous value (what is IFS?). It is not a monolithic one-piece mind that is approaching death, it's all of our internal system. Increasing perspective regarding which parts of me are panicked, which are shaming and which are guilty -just to name common examples- and getting to understand each of them and enhance a safer connection to our grounded self nature, can impact the dying process positively for us and for our loved ones.